THIS JUST IN: PLANET EARTH ON ASTEROID ALERT!… BRUCE WILLIS ON STANDBY.

By Ronan Wright on January 27th, 2012

Armageddon

At about 10:00am GMT this morning, BBCWorld had this to say on Twitter.

"Cosmic near-miss": #Asteroid expected to pass by the Earth at about 1600GMT http://t.co/b5GTvTrs
@BBCWorld
BBC News (World)

It appears that the asteroid, approx. the size of a bus and called, rather affectionately, 2012 BX34 (which I’ve re-named ‘Bruce Almighty!) grazed the globe in what the BBC’s Sci/Enviro team referred to as “something of a cosmic near-miss, making its closest approach at about 1600 GMT”.

I sat at my desk at work while the news was read out, motionless, transfixed to the broadcast, one solitary notion reverberating repeatedly around my head like popcorn in a microwave, or John McClain in a ventilation shaft… ‘it’s alright’, I thought, ‘we’ll be ok, Bruce has this one!’

Another Tweeter, @absolutionamy summed up what I was feeling at that moment perfectly.

I hope that someone has got Bruce Willis on speed dial. #asteroid
@absolutionamy
Amy Sellers

In honour of this near-momentus but ultimately uneventful non-event in our planet’s history, I’d like to ask the people in charge that today be celebrated as a holiday in the UK, the US and just about any ‘Bruce-fearing’ nation where liberty, justice and Die Hard are recognized as basic, fundamental human rights!

Here’s why we need Bruce Willis if 2012 BX34‘s big brother ever decides to show up, and actually make contact.

On behalf of earthlings and movie lovers everywhere, I henceforth declare this day, Friday January 27th 2012, to be #BruceWillisDay!
@filmplicity
Filmplicity

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THE TOP 5 SCI-FI MOVIE POSTERS OF ALL TIME!

By Ronan Wright on January 25th, 2012

By way of protest, in response to Oscar’s showering of Scorcese’s Hugo with no less than 11 Oscar nominations (which in this blogger’s opinion is 11 too many), a decision that is nothing short of extra-terrestrial! I thought it appropriate to announce something as equally surprising and arguably inappropriate during Oscar season.

This list is dedicated to the Alien horde who adbucted the Academy’s voting comittee and replaced it with a host of Scorcese loving E.T.s on an inter-stellar kick back!

5. THE TERMINATOR (1984)

The Terminator

4. STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE (1979)

Star Trek

3. ALIEN (1979)

Alien

2. BLADE RUNNER (1982)

Blade Runner

1. E.T. (1982)

E.T.

REVIEW: THE IRON LADY. MERYL, STREEPS AHEAD OF THE PACK WITH A COMPASSIONATE PORTRAYAL THAT OFFERS ‘GENUINELY MOVING MOMENTS’. THREE STARS!

By Doranman on January 23rd, 2012

The Iron Lady

‘Meryl Streep manages to create a credible individual out of all the contradictions surrounding the former Prime Minister’.

PLOT
For those who feel a little bored with celebrity biopics and their Oscar baiting ways lately, The Iron Lady proves that portraying a famous person need not begin and end with imitation. Meryl Streep manages to create a credible individual out of all the contradictions surrounding the former Prime Minister, while replicating the tics and mannerisms that dominated the Nine O’Clock News through most of the eighties; at times I became convinced I was back in a decade of street riots, relentless Tory cutbacks and politically expedient foreign wars..…er..
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READ: JAMES CAMERON’S LETTER TO H.R. GIGER APOLOGIZING FOR ‘ALIENS’ SNUB!

By Ronan Wright on January 21st, 2012

H.R. Giger's 'Pilot in Cockpit'

In deference to mounting excitement – shot through with nervous apprehension – for Alien and indeed sci-fi fans en masse, in hopeful anticipation of Ridley Scott’s upcoming (oh please, for once, let it surpass all expectations!) Alien prequel Prometheus. I thought this may be of interest to some, if not all of our readers.
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SPIELBERG’S FIVE GREATEST MOVIES!

By Ronan Wright on January 19th, 2012

Steven Spielberg

Given the release of Spielberg’s latest under-whelmer, War Horse (read our review below), and the disappointing slew of mediocre efforts he’s offered in recent times, we thought it appropriate to reminisce on the good old days. So without ado, let’s have a look at five of the greatest films, you’re ever likely to see.

5. Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade – The action adventure genre has given us some fanstastic films. Few fantasticker than this. I defy anyone to watch ‘Last Crusade’ without a huge grin on their face. It also gave us a glimpse of a promising young talent in River Phoenix (as the Junior Jones), before his life was tragically cut short. Our favourite thing about the film is the relationship between Indy and his Dad, played to perfection by a delightfully eccentric Sean Connery!
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SPIELBERG’S WAR HORSE IS ‘WORTH SEEING, BUT NOT WORTH GOING TO SEE’. THREE STARS!

By Ronan Wright on January 17th, 2012

★★★☆☆

War Horse

‘You can lead a horse to water… but you can’t make it win you an Oscar!’

PLOT
Steven Spielberg’s latest film is a modern epic following the inspirational journey of a Horse named Joey, as he whinnies his way miraculously through the emotional ravages of World War I, touching the hearts of just about everyone along the way. Even the most hardened of critics!

Beginning in a small country town in England, we follow our equine hero from his first clumsy canter across the idyllic Devon countryside, in the company of his best friend and trainer Albert, to the bloody trenches of France, where he engenders a spirit of hope among the hopeless. War Horse is everything an uplifting film about the unlikely survival of an infantry horse in the First World War should be. It’s cheesy and melodramatic but sincere and entertaining nonetheless.
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‘GHOST PROTOCOL’ PROVES IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING TO SPY FRANCHISE IN CRUISE CONTROL… FOUR STARS!

By Ronan Wright on January 10th, 2012

Ghost Protocol

‘Improbable’ or ‘unlikely’ is a walk in the park!

PLOT
As the newest instalment of the Mission Impossible series, Ghost Protocol leaves little to be desired. When renegade agent Ethan Hunt and his team of specially trained IMF operatives are disavowed after an operation at the Kremlin goes disastrously wrong, they are forced to act alone. The threat this time is a nuclear scientist with access to launch codes that could trigger the start of world war three.

In a global game of cat and mouse which takes us from Dubai to Mumbai in a thrilling race against time, it is up to Hunt and his team to, well, save the world. Sound impossible? Well, not exactly. Throw in a few beguiling turns from a talented young cast and you have a seriously entertaining movie which manages not to take itself too seriously.
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JUST ANOTHER MOVIE BLOG LIST: TOP 5 OF 2011

By Ronan Wright on December 31st, 2011

It’s been a funny old year for film. Some real corkers, as well as the obligatory stinkers required to balance them out. I’ve taken in enough of both to know that not a lot has changed in Hollywood over the last 12 months but as long as the rare little rays of light keep pushing through, the black and depressing cinematic void will not hold sway.

So here’s to the little beams of gold that light up the dark of the multiplex and make the long dark of movies like Pirates of the Caribean: On Stranger Tides endurable.

Here’s our top five films of the year, based on originality and non-boringness. (In no particular order)
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TWI-HARD WITH A VENGEANCE! AN ALTERNATIVE TAKE ON BREAKING DAWN: A REVIEW TO GET YOUR TEETH INTO!

By Jennifer Wright on December 10th, 2011

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn
“Man I wish that was a food baby!”

‘To quote one of my all-time favourite characters, “Why so serious??” Relax, smile, revel in the melodrama’.

At this stage in the game, a review of a Twilight film seems to be a bit pointless. Whatever I say here probably won’t determine whether or not you see this film, I’d say you’ve already made up your mind.

But, whoa! Slow down a minute. Just keep reading.
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THE ADVENTURES OF TIN TIN: THE SECRET OF THE UNICORN. ‘GROWN UPS LEFT WANTING, WHILE YOUNGSTERS LEAVE WANTING MORE!’

By Ronan Wright on November 26th, 2011

The Adventures of Tin Tin: The Secret of the Unicorn

PLOT
When Intrepid reporter and popular Belgian sweater enthusiast Tin Tin comes across a mysterious model ship at a market stall, he and his faithful canine companion Snowy are caught up in an exciting and dangerous race against time to uncover the secret of the Unicorn. Accompanied by the hopeless detecting of the hapless Thompson Twins and the intoxicated mumblings of the colourfully uncouth Captain Haddock, Tin Tin goes after the scoop of a lifetime and investigates the history behind a Haddock family mystery, while avoiding – with questionable success – a premature death at the hands of sinister goatee-sporting antique dealer, Ivanovich Sakharine.

REVIEW
Anyone with even a passing interest in comic books couldn’t help but be impressed by the talent lining up to interpret and translate Hergé’s classic war-time comic-strip adventures into the jaw-dropping 21st century motion capture 3D epic that crashes into stateside cinemas 4 days before Christmas. Director Steven Spielberg – a relative rookie in the animation department – has teamed up with CG wizard Peter Jackson (producing this time round) to recreate Hergé’s hand drawn hero in scintillating 3D with enough computer generated buffoonery and heartfelt Indiana Jones inspired adventure to get the festive film season off to a jolly old start.

Jackson’s digital effects workshop WETA, responsible for the revolutionary motion performance innovations behind The Lord of the Ring’s and King Kong, have raised the bar once again to give Spielberg’s boyish enthusiasm for “unapologetic shameless adventure” a gorgeous vitality, bringing Hergé’s creation quite literally to life in vivid detail with truly breathtaking visuals. Never before have digital effects looked quite so special.

Putting their talent where their mouths are, Spielberg’s motley crew of distinguished cast members collectively boast an impressive resume as a ballet dancer, a double agent and a giant gorilla. Jamie Bell slips seamlessly into the title role, our daring reporter with an eye for danger and a penchant for the peculiar. Daniel Craig is the malevolent Mr Sakharine, lending his moody tones to the villain of the piece, an alarming cross between a pixelated portrait of Richard Branson and Steven Spielberg, with the former’s capital and ambition and the latter’s obsessive eye for control. Doing his best thick Scottish accent as Captain Haddock is motion caption maestro Andy Serkis, as comfortable by now in the distinctive performance capture attire as in his own skin.

Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson

Each character brings their own peculiarities to Hergé’s colourful and richly nuanced world where it seems every eventuality is a distinct possibility as Tin Tin, Snowy and Haddock traverse the globe as if with the turning of a page. From tanker to bi-plane, ocean to desert, from Brussels to some place hot we can’t pronounce, Spielberg’s scope is ambitious to say the least, stitching together his plot from three of Hergé’s books, and for the most part, his ambition is realised. You can’t resist being swept along by the sense of adventure which Spielberg has captured and distilled to great effect here with characteristic flair. The spirit of Hergé is most certainly alive and well in The Secret of the Unicorn and a few small details lovingly rendered earn the viewer’s attention and reward it with interest.

Hergé’s winning formula balanced the exuberance of Tin Tin’s high octane adventures with charming and relatable characters and witty, engaging dialogue and the film remains faithful to the carefree sense of adventure which was the at the heart of its one dimensional forebears. Its 90s cartoon incarnation saw the comics come to life and offer its young audience entertainment that was at once more traditional than its peers but all the more fresh because of its old fashioned manner. Rather than playing down to its young audience the Tin Tin comics and cartoons offered hungry and impressionable young minds a sophisticated, cultured and courageous role model while inviting older viewers to indulge their half forgotten childhood fantasies on one of Tin Tin’s adventures.

Where Spielberg and Jackson’s interpretation falters slightly – disorientated, perhaps, in the digital ether – is the connection between the characters and the audience, which is notably lacking. We feel an outside observer at times, appreciating the view yet unable to engage with it and not quite knowing why. While the set pieces are stunning in their composition and impressive in their delivery, they don’t strengthen the whole or lend it any of the integrity which the plot is missing, so crucial scenes aren’t as memorable as they might be. The film is undoubtedly entertaining but it’s also vaguely disappointing.

VERDICT
Tin Tin is most certainly a triumph in all things visual. You can virtually smell the passion and the dedication painstakingly programmed into every pixel. What it lacks in narrative integrity and character depth it makes up for with giddy enthusiasm and thrilling set pieces. Older viewers and expectant Hergé fans may be left wanting but children of all ages will leave wanting more.

★★★½☆

The Adventures of Tin Tin: The Secret of the Unicorn

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